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[SPOILERS] (w/ Translations) Battle Golfer Yui is the best game ever and here is why
Ok, not the best game ever, BUT YOU GET THE POINT HOLY SHIT THIS GAME IS SO SICK.
Another warning: the following speaks in depth about the lore, the characters, the story and the SICK ENDING of the game, so it contains MAJOR SPOILERS.
About the translation: mind you it is selfmade, I am no expert whatsoever, it is correct but not 100% accurate and certainly too literal, but it works and it's good enough.
The translation I bothered doing when I played this, 2-3 months back, only covers the Intro and the ending, and it's just written out so no patch/hack/etc.
I was however able to play through and understand the whole game, so it'll be fun to share with you all how crazy good this game is.
Foremost I'd like to spend a few lines for an overview of who developed the game.
The game is made by Santos and published by SEGA, and it was a february 1991 release.
But the company was formerly known as Whiteboard, and it will change name again into Megasoft after being acquired by SEGA in December 1991. Megasoft is then merged into SEGA in November 1992.
If you actually look up the company's 3 names, you'll likely find a few games you know or played.
Interestingly, the Whiteboard/Santos president Takeshi Tozu was formerly the head of Crux and Sesame Japan.
Basically Takeshi Tozu, former head of Sesame Japan (Vastar) and Crux (Gyrodine, for Taito, and Repulse, extremely cool single screen shmup on Kyugo hardware, for SEGA).
Again interesting to note is that Crux was formerly known as Orca, and both companies failed/went bankrupt. But the Orca designer/programmer and Gyrodine's programmer went on to form what will afterwards be known as Toaplan.
Anyways back on topic, Takeshi Tozu was replaced after SEGA's acquisition.
I have a hard time tracking down specific development members as they all seem to use nicknames in the credits.
Any help would be very appreciated here.
Let's actually get to the game, and let's start from THE BEGINNING:
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Like most japanese manuals of games worth mentioning, there are delightful unique artworks to be found inside. This one has something even better, though, so check it out:
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Attachment 13677
The villain tells Yui (protagonist) and Ran (kidnapped friend) that they have to battle to determine who becomes Biohazard's ruler. "YUI BEAM!" "RAN MISSILE!!!"
The villain gets blasted and shouts "I MEANT A GOLF BATTLE!!!"
D-bot, crying, says "being a battle golfer is tragic.."
Ok, now get a load of these character artworks:
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Attachment 13678
GAME INTRO:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP8ftM8epXA&t=47s
(too lazy to record from hardware myself so I'll link what I got)
Translation:
"Supreme Leader, Professor G!
The computer calculations listed 2 bodies this time.
It looks like they're the prime choices for Battle Golfers."
(Picture of Yui shows up)
Name: Mizuhara Yui
Age: 16
Physique
HT. 160 WT. 48
B80 W58 H83
"The first prime body, Mizuhara Yui."
(Picture of Ran shows up)
Name: Ryuuuzaki Ran
Age: 17
Physique
HT. 164 WT. 50
B83 W60 H85
"Then another body, Ryuuzaki Ran.
What's the decision, Supreme Leader?"
"Huh uh.. I am pleased.
(Pictures get torn by a laser cut)
Bring them to my presence at once!"
(Picture of professor G leading Battle Golfers with his flute)
In the evil organization Dark Hazard, they respect the Supreme Leader Professor G,
who schemes to conquer the world using Battle Golfers.
(Picture of a screaming Yui in a cyber device and Professor G talking to her)
"Yui! From today, you are reborn as a Battle Golfer! You are now Black Fire, my faithful servant!"
Yui: "Nooo!"
(Picture of a DANGER alarm flashing)
"W-what is this?!"
"Hey! You!"
"Aaaah!! Argh!!!"
(Machine gun burst tears through the screen, Doctor T appears gun blazing, with a demure Yui in the background, on the cyber bed)
Doctor T: "Can you walk? The exit is over there! Hurry up!!"
Yui: "W-who are you?"
Doctor T: "There is no time for explanations!"
Yui: "What about Ran? There was a girl with dark hair!"
Doctor T: "Yeah, got it. I'll help her too!"
(Doctor T gets a cut in the face, possibly a bullet)
"Nngh!.... What are you doing?! Get a move on....!"
After being rescued by the mysterious man, Yui succesfully escaped.
And then... Some days after...
(Picture of Yui in her room, TV on the news, Mega Drive hooked up)
"I haven't been contacted by Ran..
What was with that man who helped me.."
TV News: "...Hazard foundation's organized Match Play Tournament Guild Country Club (ギル・カントリークラブ)"
(Picture of Yui's startled face)
Yui: "Hazard!
If I go to this tournament, maybe I'll find out something!"
Yui went alone towards the Guild Country Club.
The game starts off with this sick intro, and I will try to explain what happens in the story, generally.
But a couple words about the gameplay first: it is a brew of Golf and Adventure genre, so you select options like "think", "talk", "use", "look", and there's dialogue, then when you have to play golf you play golf with magic skills, wind, picking your bat, etc, it all works VERY nicely, except... the AI often gives up for no good reason, making the game somewhat easier.
But the gameplay is not what I'm here for, although it is very good.
Basically you go to the club and are introduced to your caddy, which you can talk to during golfing: she'll tell you how far you are from the hole, what kind of terrain you are in and what bat is recommended.
For completeness of the post: you could watch a longplay here for reference, or the archives of my livestreams of it here and
here
What happens in the plot is you gradually fight and talk to those other battle golfers which are obvious parodies of other characters, even Yui is! Yui's reference wasn't so obvious, so I am proud of having put 2+2 together since the anime her design is borrowed from was really popular in Italy.
So, here is my collage about the CHARACTERS pics and their inspiration/parody, and below is an explanation for each.
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YUI is the sneaky one: not an obvious parody like the other ones.
She is inspired by Attacker You (Battler Yui - Attacker You). See the similar power hair and redheadness.
Hagata is a parody from a popular baseball manga called Shinyaku "Kyojin no Hoshi": Hanagata (Hagata - Hanagata). He even calls Yui "Hoshi".
Kitako is a wonderful female version parody of the immensely popular manga protagonist Kitaro (from Gegege no Kitarou). (Kitako-Kitaro). She even has his covered eye, and... an eyeball for a parent!
Kitaro in the manga has his own eyeball as his father. Hard to explain.
Kitako has her eyeball as her mother. Plain awesome.
She even has tombstones in her golf field, and ghost-themed special moves.
Dibot is a parody of Zubat, from a japanese 1977 superhero series called Kaiketsu Zubat.
I figured this one out watching Game Center CX play the game.
I don't know whether or not Ran or Professor G are taken from somewhere, but Doctor T does look like somebody...
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From Zlad's music video Elektronik Supersonik.
Probably just GENERIC mullet+stache combo, but I thought a bit meme moment here wouldn't hurt.
Anyways, these characters are all Battle Golfers, people modded by Professor G in order to obtain superior.. battle golfer powers.
In order to conquer the world.
Professor G has an evil flute with which he controls battle golfers.
He conquers the world with battle golfers.
At some point you even run into your own clone with blue hair and BAM you're fighting her into like a lava stage.
Then you defeat her, PUNCH HER FACE OFF (literally off, you can see her mechanic interiors behind her fake face which is sudden, gory and extremely good.
Here's a link to the picture, can't attach anymore images.
You eventually find Professor G's secret lab, and run into a severely wounded Doctor T (the guy who saves you in the intro). He explains you all the DANK LORE, about how he and Professor G are actually brothers who were researching engineering in an american university iirc, and ended up working on a project about human engineering.
At some point Professor G got caught into too much of a dangerous ambition with it and Doctor T abandoned his elder brother after realizing he couldn't stop him.
He reveals stuff to you, and says cryptic stuff about fire and lightning.
He seems to care for you to succeed into reuniting with your friend Ran, whom you've been looking for since the start of the game.
He keeps talking to you in one of the coolest cutscenes in the games, when all of a sudden---
click here to see a picture of the funniest shit ever
and here for the next screen
Professor G shuts his little brother's mouth for good with a killer golfball to the forehead. Yes holy shit so freaking good dude lmfao
This is where you get to fight Professor G.
..But! After asking him where's Ran being held, exactly how you've been asking that to every other battle golfer for the whole game, it is revealed that Ran was in fact disguising as your caddy all along.
...You face the main villain in his own new courses, he dies, you get his skull-engraved flute and you set off to fight Ran who works as sort of a boss rush: you'll fight her through previous courses before fighting her on her own course.
Now Ran is fully mindcontrolled and only wants Biohazard's interests. (Biohazard being the villain's evil organization)
You face off to determine who is going to become Biohazard's new leader, as planned by Professor G, and Ran is brainwashed enough to be fully committed to push the death fight to the end and produce a worthy new leader.
--After you win, you are required to do some tricky think/look/talk choices until you are left with 2 options...
Blow into the flute
Destroy the flute.
Reminder that the flute, the key item which appears in the game intro too, was used by Professor G to mind control his battle golfer army.
So this implies Evil choice and Good choice!
Amazed and orgasmic, I promptly choose the evil choice, PLAY THE FLUTE, get mind controlled of my own with some Professor G voices in my head, get a cool evil Yui portrait on the right and...
GAME OVER
Awesome ahaha.
So I redo the whole fight until I get it right (thankfully/sadly even the final bosses randomly GIVE UP after the first or second shot if they hit the water or something, which is literally the only criticism I have about the game).
Ran is in front of me, finally I DESTROY the flute, her helmet visor breaks and reveals her cute face, and this is when you realize you have finally rescued your friend and saved her.
Link to Ending segment during my livestream. Contains chat, reactions, etc
(youtube longplay link)
ENDING TRANSLATION:
Hands joined, they blow up.
Such was the moment of the accident.
Who could have predicted such a thing?
What Doctor T said, when fire and lightning met...
He was surely referring to this.
In order to vanquish Dark Hazard,
Doctor T secretly planted an atomic reactor in the organization basement.
The explosion trigger was Yui and Ran's bodies touching.
Fire.. In other words, Yui, and thunder--Ran, now met!
Everything ended right after.
(note: Yui and Ran's Biohazard code names were respectively fire and thunder related)
..Together with many victims..
(Yui's room is shown, the TV on and the Mega Drive hooked up)
"B-breaking news just in..
Today, at 2:30PM, during a Match Play Tournament,
there was an enormous explosion of unknown source at the Guild Country Club.
It seems there were also a great number of casualties.
About the cause of the explosion, it is still not clear.
The casualty count is about 20000 persons.
The wounded count... .."
credits roll, scene of Yui and Ran in normal clothes, rising up in an elevator up to the moon
Ran: "hey.."
Yui: "..w-what.."
THE END
