Dickless Super Heroes

Super Heroes are what we wish we can be. Youth and adults on different levels. Would you want to be dickless? I wouldn't. Off the top of my head I'll name a few.

Ben Grimm aka The Thing. In the 2015 movie, the Thing has no thing. Thanks alot Trank and Fox. My favorite childhood character. Besides this movie, his dickless status seems to differ. He in other cases has underwear on and has a girlfriend.

Groot. Groot has no root. He may be able to grow or form one but it is not confirmed.

The Silver Surfer. In the movies at least there is no evidence of a dong. He has a power called transmutation so maybe he can form one. There seems to be a bulge so maybe it's tucked away for space travel.

Ultron and Vision. No evidence of dicks. Maybe they can screw one on or one might be retractable but no evidence. In the comics Vision dates the Scarlett Witch so...

The Abomination. The 2008 Incredible Hulk movie, the Abomination doesn't have one. It's even brought up by Tim Roth to the director in the commentary but he doesn't respond. Maybe around the 45 minute mark. He says the Hulk has bits but why doesn't he have any bits?

I'm sure there are many more. Also movie, comicbook, and cartoon variations May differ as well as different reboots of characters.

Are you that fucking bored?

They say the Earth is missing a bulge too, that's why all the flat Earth conspiracies...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BonusKun

Are you that fucking bored?

---

It's a topic I have thinking about for a long time. It's a topic that is never discussed. I have checked YouTube videos and comic forums. The 2015 FF did get covered on YouTube but that what initially sparked my interest in the topic.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Thief

They say the Earth is missing a bulge too, that's why all the flat Earth conspiracies...

---

It's funny you mention that. In the 90's Fox kids Silver Surfer cartoon, the Silver Surfer crashed on a planet. He awoke as his former human looking self with people he used to know including his girlfriend. They had sexual relations. Eventually the Silver Surfer figured out it was an illusion. He landed on Ego and he was lonely so he read the Silver Surfer's mind to create an illusion in a effort to keep him there. So the Silver Surfer basically fucked Ego.

https://i.imgur.com/XujHL.gif

There is also the issue of the incredible pussy pinch off capabilities of the female Super Heroes. The Wonder Woman movie where Gal Gadot and Chris Pine have sex. She is a virgin, well man wise, so no experience to learn control and has super strength. During orgasm an involuntary muscle spasm would easily pinch a mortal man's penis clean off. Would you risk that chance? Not worth another thread but fitting as a side topic here. The same goes for She Hulk. As much as I would want to fuck a green bitch, it's not worth the risk.

http://youtu.be/YFLlwtqHINs

Haha, never thought of that in Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman.

The 2015 movie version The Thing. Once he becomes the Thing he is naked the rest of the Movie. No one seems to care or notice anything strange. I could just picture him walking around at the beach. Some hot bikini ladies walk by. They burst into laughter, with one of them saying, why don't you put some shorts on? Then the Thing responding, I don't have to, I don't have anything.

Why do you care so much about fictional dicks?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SegataS

Why do you care so much about fictional dicks?

---

I guess you didn't read or understand the first post in the thread. Do you understand the concept of a hero? A role model? I know what you meant but you do mean lack of I'm sure or that would also be a thread title comprehension deficit.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PHANTOM2040

Super Heroes are what we wish we can be. Youth and adults on different levels. Would you want to be dickless? I wouldn't. Off the top of my head I'll name a few.

Ben Grimm aka The Thing. In the 2015 movie, the Thing has no thing. Thanks alot Trank and Fox. My favorite childhood character. Besides this movie, his dickless status seems to differ. He in other cases has underwear on and has a girlfriend.

Groot. Groot has no root. He may be able to grow or form one but it is not confirmed.

The Silver Surfer. In the movies at least there is no evidence of a dong. He has a power called transmutation so maybe he can form one. There seems to be a bulge so maybe it's tucked away for space travel.

Ultron and Vision. No evidence of dicks. Maybe they can screw one on or one might be retractable but no evidence. In the comics Vision dates the Scarlett Witch so...

The Abomination. The 2008 Incredible Hulk movie, the Abomination doesn't have one. It's even brought up by Tim Roth to the director in the commentary but he doesn't respond. Maybe around the 45 minute mark. He says the Hulk has bits but why doesn't he have any bits?

I'm sure there are many more. Also movie, comicbook, and cartoon variations May differ as well as different reboots of characters.

---

Since you're mentioning Super Villains, try Doomsday from Batman V Superman.


...But, seriously, though. I thought the title of this thread implied a listing or some existential conversation about cowardly superheroes...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by QuickSciFi

Since you're mentioning Super Villains, try Doomsday from Batman V Superman.


...But, seriously, though. I thought the title of this thread implied a listing or some existential conversation about cowardly superheroes...

---

What is it about big monster guys? I agree about the title. Although it would be crude, that is what most would expect. Something like weak or worthless characters. That is hard to balance in movies where in hero team-ups where there are huge strength and ability differences. The Hulk or Superman with no effort could poke someone with their finger and it would go through their body and kill them.

Very good point. And it is even more evident when they showcase powerless humans like Black Widow or Hawkeye... Well Hawkeye "never misses", so that could be like his "super power". But it was so funny seeing even the trailers for Infinity war and how they showed initially The Hulk running alongside the rest, including normal humans. And they were all side by side. Sooo not proportionate to their powers.