Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can lift his entire body, over his head.

Waldo is always hiding because he is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has no doors in his house. He busts through the walls.

The opening scene in Saving Private Ryan was based on a dodgeball game Chuck Norris played when he was in 2nd grade.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a shark in the middle of the ocean and started Hurricane Katrina.

When Chuck Norris does a hand stand, he's actually blocking the Earth from falling into black holes.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

True. Finally a good thread by you. :)

What a relief. I thought you meant stupid as in irrelevant. I didn't know you meant stupid as in not funny. I could've made a lot more good threads if I knew what you meant by stupid. I was trying to avoid my most bizzar jokes to avoid you calling my posts stupid.

I <3 Chuck Norris.

- There is no "ctrl" button on Chukc Norris' computer. He is always in control.

- Apple Pays Chuck Norris .99 cents every time he listens to a song.

- Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip.

- Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. He bites frost.

- Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

- When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Transformers theme song originally went: "Transformers, more than meets the eye, transformers, Chuck Norris in disguise"

Chuck Norris came to my house Today, and my house became dark. It was either a power-surge caused by Chuck Norris's presence, or Chuck Norris's big manly shadow.

Chuck Norris was unpacking for college. His dorm room was upstairs. He put one dumbell into the empty elevator, and the elevator lost capacity. Chuck Norris then said "That's okay, 900,000 lbs was my lightest wimpiest dumbell, and besides I can carry all my stuff and climb up the elevator faster than the elevator could get there anyway."

When Chuck Norris is in an elevator the elevator plays the normal elevator music. Once the door opens, epic music starts playing from the elevator.

A GREAT THREAD BY DRAGON, ALERT THE WHITEHOUSE, ( Joke :p)

When Chuck Norris goes for a swim, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a grill, he just has to stare at hamburger meat really hard.

Chuck Norris is always on top because he never fucks up.

Funny thread :D Good job Dragonboy

yes chuck norris for american president

i like his movies yes it s treu i like em the movies i mean

This all sounds like something from Uncyclopedia.

Noah was the first to know from God when Chuck Norris relived himself in the ocean.

"Brokeback mountain" isn't a movie! It's the name of the pile of dead ninjas in Chuck Norris' backyard!

(and a German One: Chuck Norris kriegt im Praktiker 20 % auf alles - AUCH AUF TIERNAHRUNG!!!)

How the hell did the Chuck Norris thing start? 2 pot heads in a room watching Delta Force.

I think it was actually "Lone Wolf McQuade" or possibly even "Missing in Action III".

I am still hoping for the ultimate movie crossover: Bradock vs Rambo!

We all know the ultimate movie crossover would include at least two Ah-nuld characters.

I would go with three and have his characters from "Commando", "Predator" and "Total Recall" in one film.

But I know the earth wouldn't be able to handle a movie that awesome and it would explode.

Rambo vs Predator, the hunter becomes the hunted. I think it would take like 50 predators to fight Rambo. The first half of the film the alien would be hunting Rambo in the jungle. The second half Rambo would go to their planet and hunt them