Yep, another year in review for films by me! 2012 edition!

[VinnyT]

It’s about that time! A STACKED 2012 has ended, and the awards are starting to come in. Before we look on to 2013, here are my Top 10 Favorite and Least Favorite films of 2012!

First, a few honorable mentions. No blurbs, but just a little recognition.

Honorable Mentions:
The Avengers
Dredd
Killing Them Softly
Seven Psychopaths
Chronicle
The Dark Knight Rises
Cabin in the Woods
Magic Mike
End of Watch
Lincoln
The Hobbit
Men in Black 3
Bernie
The Woman in Black


Top 10 Favorites

10. Argo: If it wasn’t official before that Ben Affleck is one of the better directors today, then this makes it so. Getting it done in every way, with the last half-hour being nothing but suspense, Argo had great performances all around, and greatly detailed casting. ( I mean seriously, look at the pictures of the actual hostages compared to the actors they cast. Nearly perfect!) Easily one of the best of the year and an easy choice for No. 10.

9. The Master: Was The Master perfect? No. I’ll be the first to admit the movie wasn’t without faults. The Master won’t be seen down the road as one of PTA’s best, but it’s still great. The acting alone is what brings you in, even if the story seems to be a little lacking. It looks gorgeous, and that unconventional score only helps set the mood more. It can be slow, it can feel a little pointless, but it’s also something you’re not going to forget.

8. Skyfall: A lot has already been said and done by now about Skyfall. Adele’s theme, the camerawork, Mr. Silva. It’s a stand alone Bond film that doesn’t bring back too much story wise from the last two, and the final pieces of the reboot are finally in place. As well done as this was, it made no attempts to hide that this is only the beginning. And I’m a little stoked.

7. Django Unchained: Bloody and funny. Jamie Foxx goes from uneducated slave to badass, being trained by a German dentist/bounty hunter. Yes it’s a tribute to the old spaghetti westerns, with a little Blazing Saddles thrown in. But…this is just something great on its own. And you don’t feel the runtime.

6. Beasts of the Southern Wild: Something that’s come and gone and no one really got to see it. For some it could be a little hard to sit through, but if you do, you get a real adventure story. Watching how a community deals with a flooding that’s probably Hurricane Katrina but in actuality forces the country to quarantine a large chunk of the country, and they (the citizens of this New Orleans shanty town) refuse to move. They’re off the grid, and become their own wilderness. They keep their chins high as the water rises. By the end I teared up a bit, and knew I had seen something special.

5. Moonrise Kingdom: Simply put, Moonrise Kingdom is the essence of childhood on film. It’s the best thing Wes Anderson has done since Tennenbaums, and even if you aren’t his biggest fan you’ll probably be taken in by the story of these two kids. How absolutely charming.

4. The Raid: This was the first movie this year that made me have the thought of “This is my favorite so far”. Since then only a choice few have taken it over, but that doesn’t deter from the fact that HOLY GOD DAMN HELL LOOK AT THESE FIGHT SCENES! No one saw it because they took it out of theaters after only two weeks in April so they could rush out an American remake that will NOT compare to this. Just…I don’t want to say too much, can’t spoil a damn thing, but just…go find it. Watch it without the English dubbing. Machete gang.

3. Lawless: John Hilcoat is a name to be remembered. His track record includes the likes of The Proposition and The Road. Hell, the only reason I gave this a shot was because he directed it. You’ll see Shia Lebouf and go “Meh” but this is SOOO great! Just well done at every turn. The characters, the action. The satisfying end. I suppose I shouldn’t hype it up too much, as I know some felt it could drag, still this is really something to see.

2. Silver Linings Playbook: I’m not sure what I could say about this. On paper, it’s a by the numbers romantic comedy. Guy wants Girl 1, Guy finds Girl 2 who says she’ll help Guy get Girl 1 when Girl 2 really wants Guy for herself. So, there’s your warning. BUT. What I think you can really take out of this is dealing with mental illness. Guy is bipolar. Girl 2 has her own unnamed issues. This is the initial connection they make. It’s enough to make you wonder if this wont be such a conventional film.

At the same time, it’s VERY light in really explaining the illnesses. They go into just what incidents brought on their disorders, but not that heavy on the possible effects of what these may have had on their whole lives to their respective breaking points. They realize soon on that they need each other and they help each other find a balance in their lives.

I could talk more about it, as I REALLY loved it. I’ll leave it at this for now.

1.Looper: I saw Looper a good 4 months before SLP, and it’s the only thing that stopped me from putting it (SLP) at No.1. I could in no good conscience of my own and to what I try to do with these yearly write ups put Looper out of its rightful place as the true best of the year. It’s the best Sci-Fi film since The Matrix. You could dive into the little issue’s here and there about time travel and the little nitpicks that I’ve been reading since its come out about motives and paradoxes but at the end of the film, it’s about facing the truth in yourself. This is going to be one to be remembered years down the road.



10 Least Favorite

10. The President: I’m cheating here. This wasn’t even in theaters, but was shown at the Cleveland International Film Festival. A comedian from The Netherlands who wants to be Adam Sandler made a film about him becoming the president with all his friends being unfunny pricks. It’s at No. 10 only because it really shouldn’t even be here at all, but I just wanted to mention how HOLY CRAP IT’S ONLY 84 MINUTES?! it was. Here’s the trailer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga9AYaHUVuw

9. The Three Stooges: Ok… This is a kids movie. Clean jokes, slapstick at every turn, and my lord…it’s the Three Stooges on screen! They actually make with the funny. Except for Sean Hayes who forget to do his Larry voice half the time. And then people show up at the end to say “Hey kids! The hammers and punches are fake have a nice day!” That’s the only reason this is on here really. It wasn’t the best film, but that little PSA at the end bothered me.

8. Brave: Show us vast landscapes full of wonder, just building us up for an adventure that…never happens. To the woods, to the castle, back to the woods, back to the castle, back to the woods. Kids turn into bears for no reason, back to the castle, then a final climactic fight that is surely going to…Oh, that’s the end of the film? Okay…

7. The Grey: The whole movie is in the trailer. They get picked off one by one by an unrealistic wolf pack. That’s about it. The plane crash was well done though.

6. Snow White and the Huntsman: Guess what. The director used to make music videos before this. This was his feature film debut. It shows. Yep. It’s Bob Hoskins last film EVER. YEP. They blatantly steal from ,of all things, PRINCESS MONONOKE. YEP! They bring in a useless childhood friend for the sole purpose of one scene when Snow White has to be poisoned. Then the peasants rejoice. NEXT MOVIE.

5. The Raven: This actually had a LOT of potential. John Cusack was awesome, the production design was well done, and you can see a real vision was put forth. The mystery really keeps you guessing to the very end, AND the damsel in distress actually did something other than sit and wait to be rescued. But the one thing that kills it for me was the unfortunate editing. Some minor changes here and there, but two blatant issues, killed it. One is right in the beginning, and the other is a pasted on ending that was obviously done months after the film had already been shot. I suppose I couldn’t give everything away but…there’s this obvious wax model of Cusack on a slab (He plays Edgar Allen Poe, his death is not a spoiler) and the cop that’s been his friend hears a clue, and suddenly winds up in CGI France just to shoot the killer that by all means should have gotten away. Test audience’d to death. BLAH.

4. Alex Cross: As a friend and colleague once put it “Alex Cross, with the shaky cam, in the parking garage.” I crossed Alex Cross. ( Although to be honest, without Tyler Perry’s presence, this is a decent film)

3.The Campaign: So I suppose there could have been a time where this was a satire about the shady backroom dealings of elections. Corporations running elections. And the Will Ferrell jumped in and was like “No, we need me punching a baby. That’ll work!” This really didn’t know what it wanted to be, and ends up being an entirely forgettable movie where two guys just go to more and more extreme’s to hurt each other, which would have worked if you hadn’t already started going in a much more interesting route.

2.Savages: There’s this one actual suspenseful moment where you think the two main guys may have to gun down a cop in cold blood. That’s like 2% of a film where two guys go to extreme’s WARGASM to rescue a girl that they’re supposed to be in love with, but since they’ve done fuck all to establish this it all looks silly 12 STEP DAD PROGRAM so instead it’s just two dipshits rescuing Miss Dipshit from Latino Dipshit and Benecio Del Toro. Then John Travolta walks in every once in awhile to say some stuff then leave.
Then it ends. There’s a shootout in the desert, and everyone dies. THE RED QUEEN IS SAD. I mean, that’s how it could have gone. One of the biggest asspull endings you’ll see. When I realized what was going on, I threw my cup like a petulant child and yelled for the credits to start. Then they did. Then I ran out and yelled along in the parking lot like the aforementioned child. And one of them is named Chon. Pronounced like John. Moving on.

1.Dark Shadows: *Cracks knuckles*
So…how can I describe this without going off the deep end? I want to like Tim Burton still. So much. He’s got a lot left in the tank of high quality stuff, and it needs to be brought out properly. Not like this.

I was really looking forward to this as the year went on. Tim Burton doing what looked like an Addams Family type film? I’m in. BUT. OH MY GOD BUT! CAPS LOCK IS ON FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS.

IF YOUR CHILD WAS TURNED INTO A WEREWOLF AT INFANCY YOU WOULD HAVE NOTICED BY NOW!

IF YOU CAN’T TOUCH SILVER BECAUSE YOU’RE A VAMPIRE WHY DOES YOUR CANE HAVE A SILVER HANDLE?

WHY DID YOU ASK WHERE ALICE COOPER WAS WHEN THE DOOR WAS OPEN TO HIS CONCERT TWENTY YARDS BEHIND YOU? DOES THE FUCKING WEREWOLF GENE EFFECT YOUR HEARING?

WHY DID THEY PUT IN A JOKE ABOUT A MASTURBATING 13 YEAR OLD GIRL?

GET IT? MCDONALDS IS EVIL SO FUNNY LAWL

YOU KNOW WHAT’LL GET THE KIDS INTO THIS FILM? WARRING TUNA FISH SUPPLIERS!

WHO IS THIS BLONDE GIRL? WHY ARE YOU BOTH IN LOVE IN THREE SECONDS?

I’M ALL FOR BLACK HUMOR BUT THE HIPPIES ON THE BEACH HAVE TO ACTUALLY BE FUNNY FIRST BEFORE IT’S DARK. HE JUST KILLS RANDOMLY AND IT’S JUST MEAN SPIRITED, NOT DARK.

SERIOUSLY, THAT GIRL AND DEPP ARE IN LOVE IN TWO SCENES. THEN THEY WIND UP TOGETHER. HE’S DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE HER. AT ALL.

THEN THE HOUSE AND THE TUNA FISH FACTORY CANNERY WHO GIVES A FECK ARE BLOWN UP AND HIS FAMILY IS NOW WORSE OFF BUT WHO CARES THE END!

And then we close on Helena Bonham Carter’s body sunk in the ocean, slowly zooming in like “Okay, open your eyes so I can leave. Just do it. Just do it…there we go get up! Get up I need to scream.”

That about wraps up 2012! 2013’s adventure is just beginning!

[Chilly Willy]

What? No Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? You should be ashamed!!

[cheaterdragon1]

What? No Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? You should be ashamed!!

He probably preferred Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.

Didn't see The Hobbit mentioned anywhere. That was the only movie I actually saw in theatres. Skyfall was excellent.

[Drakon]

Men in black 3? Really? I wanted more tommy lee jones... I like will smith just as much as tommy lee jones but combined it's like 2x the awesome.

And...looper? Bleh.

[Tsar]

I really enjoyed the looper. It was a fun movie.

[VinnyT]

He probably preferred Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.

Didn't see The Hobbit mentioned anywhere. That was the only movie I actually saw in theatres. Skyfall was excellent.

I'd have said Vampire Hunter, but I already had like 13 honorable mentions and didn't want that list to be too long, although I did add The Hobbit. Surprised I missed that.

[NeoVamp]

Dark Shadows was a fun movie, but I agree about the werewolf thing.. it was horribly tacked on and only really served to please the kids.
(here ya go kids, she's a mean badass werewolf, we didn't forget to please your insecure young minds, kids can be awesome too! I mean look at her being all badass!)

Johnny Depp was great like always though, but ultimately a flawed movie.